Top Ten Ways To Tell You’re an Older Gamer

Reposted from Hawty McBloggy. I didn't find this all that funny, but maybe that's just because the truth hurts.

• Not only do you insist on watching every single cutscene instead of fervently mashing all the buttons in a hurried attempt to skip them, you instantly yell at and silence anybody who has the audacity to speak during one.

• Fully completing a game requires several playing sessions since you can only log an hour or two at a time due to having to wake up early the next morning for work. Or kids. Or meetings. Or other stuff you don’t want to do.

• Your video game time is almost always scheduled days in advance with reminders penciled in on your calendar. But that’s only if you are lucky enough to acquire your significant other’s permission. And they don’t give you a guilt trip the day of.

• You purchase your favorite video game’s soundtrack and listen to it during your commute, playing through your favorite levels in your head, in order to make up for your lack of actual playing time.

• You no longer pick up video games at midnight launches because you know you will be too tired to actually play it that night. Instead you opt to get it the following morning so you can keep your eyes open long enough to get it in the disc tray.

• You belong to an adult-only gaming community because you’re sick and tired of getting repeatedly humiliated by teenagers less than half your age who only beat you because they still have their lightning fast reflexes intact.

• Half of your vacations involve going to major gaming conventions. The other half are whatever your significant other selected because that’s what you had to agree to in order to go on the other ones.

• You always read the instructions before starting a game, often times spending several minutes studying the control scheme while simultaneously muttering under your breath about how much easier it was back in the days of joysticks and solitary fire buttons. Then you carefully tuck them back in the case because you know you will need a refresher the next time you play.

• You stick to puzzle and sim games when playing in the evening because you find shooters to be too stimulating in the pm hours.

• After immediately turning off any and all music in the options menu, you create your own custom tracklist for titles like Madden that feature modern tunes. Thankfully you realize the music coming out these days is nothing short of a travesty. You hold onto hope that the video game industry will pick up on that eventually too.